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Hmmm...well since I can't afford to have the cyst removed now without insurance...I'm out of here as soon as possible. I wish I didn't have to go, I wish that this area offered me something. I've lived up here my whole life, and I've learned to tolerate it. I'm really scared to leave. I'm excited too. Leaving just makes everything so final.
He's upset, probably with good reason. But I refuse to live my life around him. I've been slapped in the face *not litterally...dear Lord if THAT rumor started* too many times...and I HAVE to just forget it. I made a CD today because I was so happy that we could talk last night and now he's pissed because of something in here *who cares what* and blocked me off messenger. Oh well, put my stuff in the garage and never see me again. You'll be happy.
I'm scared because I'm not able to afford my medication. This isn't like some allergy pill...I need insulin to live. I hate living in a country that doesn't care if I have health care, if I have the stuff I need to live. It sucks. Life sucks. I was so positive yesterday...thinking I could do this. What happened that today I want to give up living? I'm scared I'm never going to have a family. I'm scared the doctors are right, I'm never going to be able to have children. I'm just a big fucking chicken.

It sucks...I need someone I love. Not him. Not him either. And definately not him. I need someone new, that understands, that really truely cares, that's going to support me and believe in me. Lord, help me find this. Help me find the person I need in my life. Show me what I need to do. Please...I need you more than anyone else.

Update for all the nosey bitches out there...we're fine. We'll both be okay in our own seperate worlds. Life is good, life is great, life is unbelivable. And I still can't spell.

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
andyanarchist
Jun. 17th, 2003 11:16 pm (UTC)
I'm only posting this...
...beacause a lot of my friends and family are insulin dependant.

A. You can always get it, check with your hospital or doctor.
B. Check with Local Pharmacies, they'll help you out.
C. You should learn more, considering you need it to live you should really know more about it.
D. Don't be a attention whore. 'I need it to live.' Jesus like your mother or Perry wouldn't help you out short term no matter how much you owe them or they are pissed at you. Hell even one of your frequent ex's I'm sure you have enough to ask. (Sure that was bitter but at least I did give you 2 helpful suggestions, this is my charge.)
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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