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May. 6th, 2004

I figure I might as well do a quick update. Practice went okay Tuesday. It gets a little boring when all you do is stand around, but at least we get to over react with facial expression and stuff. Yip yip for that. I can't wait to see how this whole thing works out. I'm sure it will be a blast as all the previous shows put on by Three Lakes have gotten rave reviews.

Jesse is making me kinda cranky. He complains about me spending time at my mothers all the time but basically ignores me when I am home. Tonight he went to some party thing just as I was waking up and has the nerve to say "do you want to go" when he knows damn good and well I have to work. And then when I SAY I have to work he just goes "well there you go." Grrrr. What's the point of being home if the house is just going to be full of people all day and then he goes running off at night? I'd rather be somewhere quiet and comfortable. Oh well...there are much worse things that could be happening. This is just a minor annoyance.

Other than that not much is going on. I'm sick of not having any one really dependable person that I know really well that I can talk to. Since Jessica is in Madison it's like I'm just basically my own big support network. I don't feel like I know anyone else well enough to "burden" them with all my trival problems and crap...but it would be nice to know someone in the same situation as I am. Most of the people my age that are still here are here because they like it...and I want more than anything to be out. I love being in nature...but that's not my first need. There's days where I just need to be surrounded by traffic and noise and hustle bustle and lights...and that's definately not here. The closest thing to lights you can get is the neon beer signs in the bar windows. Blah. I hate drinking too. The more I see Jesse drink the less attractive he becomes. I've noticed the last few days whenever I'm around him and he's drinking *and he hasn't even been drinking that much, he's been laying off* I just don't want to be around him. I'm sick of dealing with the effects of alcohol at work *drunk morons stumbling around picking change out of their cars so they have enough for a hotel room* and then getting home and dealing with a smelly drunk in my bed. It's begining to piss me off. And the fact that he can't go a fucking day without pot is also unnerving my. Damn my drug free upbringing. I have a feeling if I had a "normal" childhood I could deal with this. But I was never a party person...and I've never been able to see the point. Is there a point? Or is it just lack of something better to do? My solution...don't do anything then.

Okay...I'm done for now...laters.

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