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delima

I don't know how to do this without hurting someone.

I really really really like Dan. In fact I enjoy dating Dan. I however, don't see myself with Dan forever and ever and ever amen as the song states. I'm going to school *crosses fingers* and I can't see myself in a long distance relationship...especially with Dan. He couldn't leave me alone when I was away for the weekend dog sitting for my rents...much less several months at a time. Plus there's the fact that I have a wandering eye...and the chances of me staying faithful for any extended period of time is slim to none. And then there's the kids. I really can't be in a totally serious relationship with kids involved. It's just so...not me. So the moral...never ever get in over your head with someone who constantly mentions how if you EVER leave he'll hate you forever and blah blah blah because now no matter what I'm the bad guy.

And then there's the issue of school. Is Jesse still attractive to me because he really IS or because he's my only feasible option right now to be able to go to school? I know I'll always love him but damn he pisses me the fuck off at times. And then once I get to school and realize this whole THING isn't right? How do I get out of that one? Am I just setting myself up for yet another miserable failure?

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Sometimes I really hate life.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
pilot_down
Apr. 21st, 2005 05:41 pm (UTC)
this started as a comment but I'm posting it as an update in my LJ :)
Ahh love. Yes.

6 people close to me have all had relationships end in the last month. Oh wait, and me too, since I broke up with my boy last month. So that makes 8 counting me. I don't know what's going on. Well I mean I do. Relationships are rarely healthy. They're jealousy and smothering and fighting and screaming and calling cops and cheating and inprisonment...they suck. I want an open relationship. I want a friend that I can love and you know what? If we get sick of each other, FINE! As long as we can be adultish enough to maintain friendship then that's what matters to me. This fucked up ideal that you have to be with one person your entire life, jesus! I've seen so many screwy relationships in my life. Why can't people just be independant? Don't sacrifice YOU to become WE. I wrote a poem called "the me in us" a few weeks ago. It's totally about this and I'd post it if I had it on me.

Forgive my rant for I am disowned.
a_gothic_beauty
Apr. 26th, 2005 10:23 am (UTC)
babe, i wanted to let you know this without posting it on my own journal but Brett and I broke up today. It was pretty crazy emotional. Gimmie a call if you can soon.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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