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It's been a minute....

since I've updated. Yes, I stole Sean's phrase.

I just don't feel like I have anything to update about...and what I do is depressing.

I'm 25. I'm sick of being "young." I don't know if it's being young, but I am sick of acting like I'm young. It's time for me to start asking myself difficult questions. I need to start considering the long term. I think I've found someone I want to be with for the rest of my life...and damn long time at the very least. But what do I want to do with myself? Where am I going...how am I going to sastisfy myself. I need to get an education...or the skills to get a good job. I need to do SOMETHING with myself. I just don't know what. I feel so lost and alone.

Sean said today that he's okay with helping me figure it all out. It's a really touching thought...but I'm not sure it's the RIGHT idea. I don't know...I feel like I need a swift kick in the ass. I'm not going to get it here. I feel like there's no real solution.

I'm rambling. I guess it boils down to the fact I'm getting antsy. I want to setetle down. I don't really want to wait two years. I don't want to rush it...but I don't want to wait either. Uggg...why must I always be so contradictory??? I'm still puzzled...but at least I've got it off my chest.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
jasondemotte
May. 15th, 2006 07:07 pm (UTC)
Sadly being human means we get lot's of conflicting feelings. So there's no real easy answer. Trust me, I've looked.

However, if you need a sympathetic ear, you know how to get ahold of me.
pushnell
May. 16th, 2006 02:58 am (UTC)
There's something in the air ....

You and I and several other people around our age are all feeling the same vague unrest lately. I don't know if it's just something that happens "right about now", or what, but you're not the only one going crazy :)

"When life is hard, you have to change." The best part of life that I've found so far is that if you don't like how things have turned out, you can change them. Life is malleable, if you're willing to put in some hard work. And we really do have plenty of time to get where we're going, as long as we're going somewhere.


So, my advice to myself has been to just relax ... pick something that sounds good, don't overpressure yourself to get everything right the first time, and then run with it. If it doesn't turn out, you can pick something else.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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