Girly Pants (theater_chica) wrote,
Girly Pants

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Gah...for some reason I've been missing Jake lately. I have no clue why. I love Jesse to death and I'd never do anything with anyone else...but I still wonder sometimes. You know...the what would have happened if syndrome. I get that way with that situation sometimes. It sucks. I wish I could talk to him again like I used to. Be able to just spout off my problems and have him listen and hold me. Cry in someones arms for a change instead of them getting all pissed off and running from me. I think that's one of the big things that bugs me about Jesse. The instant I get emotional he runs away. I talked to him about it though and since then he's been better. He holds me and talks to me. I'm hoping he's realized that that's all it takes to get me to calm down 9 times out of 10.

It's weird. I miss Ian a lot too. I chatted with him the other night and it made me wonder what would have happened had his parents not trucked him off to sounthern WI. Nothing I'm sure since we grew apart in middle school...but it's still neat to wonder about things. I haven't seen him in almost four years:( I just would like to see him and catch up with stuff. I wonder what ever happened to that Ziggy doll. I really really would like to have it right now. Something to make me feel loved. That way you feel loved in elementary school when someone gives you an annonymous valentine with two suckers in it instead of one. What a great feeling.

Wow, I think I'm totally over tired. I still haven't been able to sleep. Mum will be here in a few minutes with the car. Jesse took the automatic to Madison and I still can't get over my fear of driving a stick. :( I'm going to have to though...he's right. It's silly for me to be so scared. If Brian didn't hate my guts I'd almost consider asking him to teach me...but yeah...that's out of the question.

I think that's it for now...maybe more later.
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