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Time for a post.

Well...a pseudo-post. I'm not confident enough to actually post. I'll admit. I try and be totally honest in here, but it's hard. I know everyone that means something to me *or most everyone* is reading this and if I just spill it all out someone is libel to get hurt. And let's just say I've hurt enough people this week. I'm taking a few weeks off from that *by request* so I'll be good. I can say I'm freaking out because Justin wants to talk to me, and I quote, "in person" sometime tonight and I've made other engagements. So I think I'm going to have to cut my night short *which I must so I don't totally mind* and go see him, after all it is only fair after all the shitty stuff I've done to him these last few days. I was reading his posts from this week and he's right, what I'm doing isn't fair but it isn't fair to lie either. I don't know which is the lesser of the two evils. He's been nothing but sweet and kind and absolutely PERFECT so I know I shouldn't feel the way I do, but unfortunately I do. And I can't change how I feel.

On another depressing note...I've lost my fricken cell. So if anyone needs to get ahold of my instinct messages and e-mail are the best route. If you feel you must call try home, but I'm never there so I'm not promising anything. It looks as though I won't be getting cellie back though...so you're just going to have to learn to deal. I left it at the damn park and mum went and looked and it's not there anymore.

So yeah...more later I guess if I'm up to it.



Nov. 8th, 2002 03:56 pm (UTC)
Hugs,always here for ya

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