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Fuck my life.

Well my life has offically gone to hell. Jesse's decided that he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me.

Isn't that great. The ONLY guy I've EVER met who I felt comfortable talking to, being with, letting go and being myself with just decided to tell me ONLINE mind you that he doesn't think we're going to work out. And then proceeds to say how he loves me and he's there for me and yadda yadda yadda. And then he blames the whole thing on me when I thought that I was going to be moving to IL with my dad and gave his mother's ring back to him. Well what did he expect me to do...keep the damn thing? And he says that he just can't bring the feelings he had for me back. Well that's great...could you have maybe told me that then? So I wouldn't have had to waste the last month of my life? I want to be with him so bad, there were so many things I wanted to do with him. I guess it doesn't matter anymore. I tried calling him on the phone after it happened *about a half hour ago* but all I could do is sob. I sound so pathetic. "I'd do anything for you. Why are you doing this? There's nothing I can do is there?" Uggg...I've never cared about guys like that. I NEVER will again either. And I know that Margaret had to have something to do with this. Because all he's been talking about lately is how Margaret wants to break up with Matt and yadda yadda yadda...so Margaret becomes available again and poof...I'm gone. Yesterday he was in bed with me telling me how much he loves me and today it's "nope, don't want to be with you anymore...." WTF??? Oh well...I need to get over it. I could see it coming from a mile away. I don't know why I stayed this long. Oh yeah, because I love the bastard...that's right.

And on another uplifting note my stupidity has also pissed off my best/only friend. But I'm used to that. I guess that's to be expected too. I need to just shut my mouth and live in a bomb shelter alone with a bunch of books or something. *oh wait, I practically do that now*


Jun. 9th, 2003 03:06 pm (UTC)
Hey babe -

I'm so sorry everything is going poorly for you :( We always stay because we love the bastards...its all their faults for being so adorable once in a while *grrrrrrrr* I'm sorry that I missed you up there, I dropped by but you weren't home :( I hope you found the Alice CD cause I left it there for you. When I got back to Eagle, I got a call from Tim who reminded me that the confirmation was at 8:45 am EST. I forgot about the damn time change, so after i had dinner with my mum i went right up to Ishpeming. So I was home for about 6 total hours (not counting last night, cause i went to bed at 10:00). Oh well :( I should be up there at least once more this summer, so we'll have to get together! Give me a call!

Jun. 9th, 2003 03:11 pm (UTC)
Well at least you're not TOTALLY pissed at me. Although you have every right to be. Get your bum on yahell and talk to me:P

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