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An Update...

Well, I'm happy to report that I've decided I'm okay with Jesse and I breaking up. He's very right. He's too much of a party animal and a horn ball for anything to ever work between us. He also needs to get his ass together and figure out what he wants. I don't want to stick around a wait for him to find out. I deserve someone who knows that they love me and that they want me, not someone who just thinks that they are. I guess I want to stay friends, but we all know that that rarely works. I don't want to be talked about like he talks about Margaret. "Oh she just wants me back and she's upset because she can't have me." The honest truth is I don't want him back. I had a nice long talk with the guy he works with yesterday and I realized that then. I'm NOT going back. Not saying that I'd have the chance to anyhow, but if I did I wouldn't take it. He made me realize I'm better than that. I wish there were more people who would talk honestly and openly, but oh well. I know that I'm going to be able to make something of my life doing what I want to be doing on my terms. I can't wait to get down south and start getting my nose in the door. I WILL be able to do this damn it and this stupidity is NOT going to stop me.

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October 2009
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